Sunday, April 5, 2009

Of Dogs and Self-preservation

Dogs,loyal companions, vicious territorial protectors and hunters of all stuffed animals. You've seen dogs guarding junk yards or being used by the police, I've been stopped by sniffer dogs at airports, I've been bitten by a chihuahua and chased by rottweilers. You've also seen dogs being loyal family pets, playing with kids, keeping he elderly company and cheering you up when you're sad.

Recently I've had two completely separate conversations with 2 unrelated people that have both said the same thing: "There is a reason dogs were made to be cute, and that reason is self-preservation".

Think about it seriously for a second: my oldest dog, as puppy, completely ruined my antique hardwood floor by constantly missing the newspaper, ruined two brand new leather sofas by chewing them while we were at work and gnawed the legs off a chair so that when I sat on said chair, it broke and I really hurt myself... While on the floor crying out in pain and swearing like a longshoreman I opened my eyes and there she was, this cute little puppy staring at me with her big brown eyes, she tilts her head and licks my nose. Hence preventing me from launching her onto the street from my fifth floor window. She's still alive today, 8 years later. Self-preservation.

I was giving this some thought and I've concluded this is common in every species I can think of today. Human babies, for example, have to be cute because all they do is cry, eat and poop, so that you're constantly changing them and wiping their asses and feeding them, only to start all over again in a perpetual cycle of stinkyness. So they need to be made cute or we'd just stop feeding them altogether. Same with say... kittens... They scratch up your walls and miss the litter box and cough up hairballs but then you see them chasing a fly and bumping into walls and you just can't get mad.

This is nature's way of ensuring the survival of all species: make the offspring cute as hell so that the parents don't abandon them. It's absolutely brilliant and it actually makes me think that there just may be a higher power at work behind all this cuteness.

Now all I need to do is find a way to be awesomely cute and if I do... I will become invincible, unconvictable and irresistible, thus ensuring my survival.

Muchacho Enfermo

Add to Technorati Favorites

No comments: